Effect
by I-like-chickens
Summary: Set during and after the attack on TB5. Alan doesn't know one of his brothers very well, will he have chance to realise how much he loves him before it's too late? Completed. WARNING: Character Death
1. Chapter One

**Effect.**

A/N: It starts out movie-verse but I change things as the story progresses such as which characters say what lines and so on and so forth. I change more things in later chapters. I hope you enjoy!

A/N 2: Okay, ages. Scott is the oldest, then Virgil, John, Gordon and then Alan. Instead of like in the movie when Alan is 14(?) he's 17. This will make a lot more sense as the story progresses. Oh yeah, what the hell does FAB mean? I can't find it's meaning anywhere. I'm such a fool.

**John's P.O.V**

The siren started to go off, I moved to the control panel. I wondered what had could be happening, I mean the forest fire didn't seem to out of control when I had last looked.

"What the-" I broke off.

A missile coming straight for Thunderbird 5 with nearly 100 percentprobability it would impact with the space station. I felt my eyebrows furrow, this wasn't right. This could not be happening. How could anyone have found the location to the space station?

I quickly opened a link with Tracy Island, it was the only thing I could think to do.

"Thunderbird 5 to Tracy Island, mayday. Mayday!"

That's all I could say before the missile hit the space station and I was sent flying back into the wall. I felt pain wrack my body; the thick smoke from the melted wires filled my lungs making it hard to breath. I knew there was a fire and I needed to get up and put it out but I found myself unable to move. My vision started to get blurry and it all faded to black.

Scott's P.O.V

I know that Virgil, Gordon and myself are too hard on Alan. I regretted saying that comment about him being a hazard as soon it left my mouth but I thought it best not to dwell upon the subject. He knew I didn't mean it.

After lunch I found myself sat at the poolside table reading my monthly addition of my favourite magazine. I kept glancing up at my second to youngest brother who was drinking and talking to Kyrano at the bar a few feet away from myself. I knew the look he had on his face; I could tell that he was up to something.

He had obviously felt my eyes on his back so turned to look at me and sent me a huge grin. It didn't fill me confidence that was for sure. I shook my head and looked back down at my magazine, it didn't seem as interesting as it had before.

I sighed and putit down, I was content just to stare up at the sky for the time being. I was imagining what John was doing.

A frown made it's way onto my face at the thought of John. I felt sorry for him, after all he did have to stay up in Thunderbird 5 for most of the year and when he did come down he felt alien to the family.

I didn't know how to treat him, I barely knew him. As brothers I had never been close to him. Virgil and me were closest together in age and I had always felt the two of us had this close bond that I didn't think I could ever share with another human being. We were only a year apart and it felt like we were twins sometimes, he knew me better than anyone else and vice versa.

Gordon and Alan were also close in age with only one and a half years difference. Gordon had finished high school last year and had completed his training quickly to become a vital part of International Rescue.

I jumped when the siren started going off, it doesn't matter how many times I had heard it go off it still managed to shock me. I quickly got up and ran to the control room with Gordon on my heels.

Brains and Fermat were already there when the rest of us arrived.

"How bad, Brains?" Dad asked, ever the professional man.

I was eager to find out what was going on. I frowned as I noticed Gordon had somehow got in front of me, he pulled on a shirt which blocked my view of Brains and Dad. It took most of my self-control not to push him out of the way.

"Thunderbird 5. Major damage sustained. Possibly m-m-m-m-t strike by a m-m-m." Brains started and my Dad cut him off as we all went and stood in front of our portraits.

"Meteorite?" My Dad asked.

"Yeah." Brains affirmed.

Each of us stood inside the tube that would take us to the Thunderbird's silos. I closed my eyes. I prayed to God that John would be all right.

"Thunderbirds are go."

John's P.O.V

It could have been a couple of minutes later, it could have been hours, when I found myself coming to.

The air around me was thick with smoke and I could hear the siren still going off. It was then I wondered why I was lying on the floor of Thunderbird 5.

I could hear the crackle from a fire near the control panel, that was what made everything come rushing back.

I needed to contact Dad but I didn't know if it would work. I crawled to the control panel quickly and I ignored the pain that tried to consume my body.

Miraculously my communications were still working and so was the screen that was telling me that Thunderbird 3 was coming to my rescue. I needed to stop them, I needed to tell them to leave and go back to Earth but some selfish desire of mine told my mind not to mention anything about the missile to my Dad and brothers.

I opened a link with Thunderbird 3 and scanned Thunderbird 5's vitals quickly.

"I'm loosing all power, repeat, I'm loosing all power."

I prayed to God that they'd be able to hear me. Sparks from the control panel nearly got me in my face but I turned my head at the last minute.

It seemed like forever before anyone answered, "Hold on John, we're coming in."

I felt weak and I felt horrible. I needed to make them go back to Earth but I was scared. I didn't want to be left here alone.

I started to crawl towards the entrance to the room; my body didn't seem to want to cooperate though so I didn't make it as far as I should have.

I cursed myself and I wanted to slip back into unconsciousness once again but I found myself unable to. I hurt too much.

I didn't notice they had come aboard the ship until I heard my dad shout my name and bark instructions to my Brothers.

I tried to cover up how hurt I was with a short quip, I knew they'd see right through it though.

"Am I glad to see you guys."

It didn't come out as it should have though. My voice shook and I quickly cursed myself once again.

My Dad tried to pull me into a sitting position but I just turned away.

"Easy, you're hurt." I heard him say before my vision finally turned black once again.


	2. Chapter Two

A/N: Hey guys, sorry for not updating sooner, my internet broke. It was horrible but it's working now. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and told me what F.A.B meant, I love you! Hehe, yes well. I need a beta reader so if anyone wants to volunteer could you please tell me in a reivew or email me. Thanks.

**Jeff's P.O.V**

As I walked onto Thunderbird 5 the smell of burnt plastic filled my nostrils and I quickly took in the damage.

I strode to my middle son quickly, "John!"

I was shocked at the condition he was in, of course I knew he was going to be hurt but I don't think as his Father I was ready for it.

"Scott, put out that fire!"

Scott did as he was told and Virgil and Gordon found themselves busy with other things as I carefully grabbed a hold of John's shoulders.

"Am I glad to see you guys." He said, I could tell he was in a great deal of pain but he was trying to cover it up.

He had always been like that since he was a child, always trying to ignore his injuries or never telling anyone if he was hurt. I remember once when he was about 6 he had fallen from a tree in our backyard and didn't tell anyone that he had hurt his arm. He had hidden up in his room and I had gotten worried so I went to check on him and I found him passed out on his bedroom floor. We had later found out he had a broken arm and a concussion from hitting his head. I remember shouting at him about it. I felt bad later of course and had apologised. He had shrugged it off and acted like it had never happened.

"Easy, you're hurt." I tried to move him into a sitting position but he tried to move so he wasn't looking in my direction.

He didn't get very far before passing out.

"Virgil, take care of your brother. Gordon, give me a damage assessment." I ordered before standing up and moving away from John.

He made me so angry when he was acting like this, like he didn't want our help. I needed to get away from him before I did or said something I would later regret.

I found myself putting out a fire now instead, it was too hot in here.

It took awhile to put it out but I managed it, Gordon told me the status of Thunderbird 5 and I was worried.

I didn't let it show on my face though, I just nodded and carried on trying to sort through everything.

I soon found there was nothing I could fix and made my way back over to Virgil and John. My second eldest had moved John into a sitting position and had put a facemask on. I told everyone to take their helmets off, their was no point in having them on any longer.

An alarm started going off on the control panel and Scott quickly checked what it was.

"We got a constant warning light on our APS systems." Scott informed me.

"Attempt manual over-ride." I told him.

"No, that's negative!" He was starting to get worked up. I could tell.

I stood up and moved a few steps away from John and Virgil. Virgil had stood up as

well but he didn't move.

We didn't have any other choice now.

"Back to Thunderbird 3, now." I had a tone in my voice that none of them could ignore. Virgil had nodded at me and had run off back to Thunderbird 3 to help Gordon with starting her up. He knew I'd help John.

"John, we've got to move." I told him while crouching down in front of him. I knew he wasn't awake but talking to him made me feel a bit better. I put my arms under his and pulled him to his feet before leaning him against my chest. His head lolled back onto my shoulder.

Gordon's panicked voice reached my ears, "The locking mechanism is jammed."

I didn't have time to think before Virgil was back at my side and a communications link was opened up.

I shifted John into Virgil's arms and walked closer to the control panel so I was stood next to Scott.

"Attention Thunderbird 5. As you can see I have taken over your ship, you no longer control your operation systems."

I didn't recognise the voice or the figure on screen, I felt my brows crease and Gordon walked so he was stood next to me.

It then started to gradually get hotter and I looked through my memories trying to search for anything about this man.

"Ok, You have our attention. Who are you and what do you want?" I asked.

"Oh how rude of me. You can-." He paused as he walked around and I felt myself getting angry. "Call me the Hood."

I glanced quickly at each of my Sons. Each of them had puzzled looks on their faces, apart from John who still hadn't woken up, and obviously didn't know who the hell The Hood was.

"No listen, Mr Tracy." He continued. "We won't be negotiating. I am going to use the Thunderbirds to rob the largest banks in the world, starting with the bank of London. The world's monetory system will be thrown into chaos and the Thunderbirds held responsible."

I let this sink in; I couldn't let this happen.

Where was Alan? I prayed to God he was safe. I needed him to be, he had to do something about it. He was a Tracy; he could do it.

"You'll never get away with it." Scott almost shouted.

"Why the Thunderbirds?" I asked, hoping to stall him so that Alan could figure out a way to help them.

"An eye for an eye, Mr Tracy."

"An eye for an eye?" I was confused, what the hell was he talking about?

"Perhaps you have forgotten me but surely you remember saving the life of my brother, Kyrano." He had been pacing before but now he had stopped.

It took a couple of seconds for the information to sink in. Kyrano was his brother? I found that a little unbelievable.

Kyrano was pushed in front of the camera so we could see him. He looked a little shocked himself. He looked straight at the camera, "I'm sorry Mr Tracy, I thought he was dead."

The Hood laughed before ordering for Kyrano and his wife to be taken away.

I honestly didn't know what to do or what to think.

I heard a sneeze off camera that sounded strangely like Fermat but I didn't let the recognition show on my face.

"You left me to die that day. You may have broken my body but you have no idea about how powerful my mind has become." He sat himself down in my chair and I nearly growled. "Now you will suffer as I suffered. Waiting for a rescue that will never come."

He clicked his fingers.

"Wait!" I shouted but he cut off the link and something else I couldn't name. I knew this wasn't good.

"Scott, status report." I ordered him and he looked at the control panel before looking back at me.

"CO2 levels are rising." He told me.

I told him what to do with out really thinking about it. A million thoughts were going through my mind.

"How long will that give us?" Virgil asked, I noticed he was supporting a now conscious John in his arms.

"About 4 hours." John told us and his voice wavered.

I didn't know what to do now other than wait. I sat on the floor and motioned for Virgil and John to do the same.

Virgil nodded and released his grip on John who let himself fall to the floor with a thump. Virgil stared at him for a while before sitting down next to him.

**Gordon's P.O.V**

There was nothing I could do now. I had done everything I could have so I decided to join my brothers and Dad on the floor. Scott joined us a couple of minutes later. We sat in silence for a while.

I didn't like it, I never have done. I needed to do something or I was going to go insane.

I got up and moved to the control panels.

"What are you doing?" Scott asked me, I turned my head and sent him a huge grin. Much like the one I had sent him this morning.

I turned my head back around and started to fiddle with the control panel. Scott and Virgil soon joined me and we started to banter between each other, it helped a lot. We weren't doing much, we didn't have the proper equipment to fix things on Thunderbird 5 but we did our best.

Dad soon joined us and I turned to look at John, he had somehow stood up and moved towards the doorway.

He was panting heavily from the movement, "Are you Ok?" I called to him.

He nodded and opened his mouth to speak but was cut off and sent flying forwards by and explosion that had taken place just behind him.

Dad was immediately by his side, checking his pulse and breathing.

"Scott, Gordon, Virgil are you alright?" He asked us and I found myself nodding.

"We're Okay." Virgil told him.

"The heat exchange has blown." Scott told us and I helped him off of the floor.

I had no idea how he got down there but I was always ready to help him get back up.

"You don't say." I smirked at him.

He didn't say anything but coughed instead.

I watched my Dad pull John to his feet, he looked dazed and his head was bleeding quite a bit but other than that I think he was all right.

Dad sat him down in his chair and we all stood around him, I jumped when a communications link was opened and Alan's voice filled the station.

"Dad." He said.

"It's Alan." Virgil said, almost in amazement.

Jeff moved closer to the screen that Alan's face was on.

"Alan? Where are you? Are you safe?" He questioned.

"I'm at the satellite relay station with Fermat and TinTin. Fermat's going to hack into the main computer system to give Thunderbird 5 back to you."

"We're standing by." Dad told him.

I was kind of amazed actually. I couldn't believe that Alan, Fermat and TinTin would have been the ones coming to our rescue.

I heard Fermat say something off screen but I couldn't quite make out what it was. It was a couple of minutes before Fermat said something else.

"Can you finish?" Alan asked, looking at Fermat behind him.

"Alan what's happening?" Dad asked, worried.

"Hang in there Dad, one more minute. Okay?"

Dad didn't answer but instead watched Alan's face. I quickly glanced around the station before looking back to the communication's screen.

The picture on it started to break up.

"Dad? Can you hear me? We're sending a signal; we're going to lose you. Don't worry, I'll take care of everything, okay?"

"That's a negative, it's too dangerous." Dad told him.

As much as I wanted to get off of here I didn't want Alan to get hurt. I knew that was what Dad was feeling too.

"Follow emergency procedures. Meet Lady Penelope at rendezvous point." Dad's brows furred when Alan didn't reply. "Alan? Can you hear me? We're loosing you."

I heard Alan shout 'Dad' before the screen went blank.

All of us were breathing heavily; the air was thick and heavy, but none as much as John. He looked extraordinarily pale in the dim light from the control panel and the blood hadn't stopped flowing down his face.

I swirled his chair around so he was facing me and I pulled him into a hug. When I was younger I used to love getting hugs off of John. They were few and far between but I loved them anyway, they reminded me of Mom.

John tensed before wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling me closer so I was almost sat on top of him.

"Phew. Somebody roll down a window, it's getting hot in here." My Dad joked, wiping away some sweat from his forehead.

I didn't pull away from the hug but instead just listened to my older Brothers and Dad talking.

"Re-entry to Earth's atmosphere in 37 minutes." Virgil said.

"Oxygen down to 30 so we won't feel a thing." Scott chimed in and that made me pull away from the hug.

"Stop it." Dad told him.

"Come on Dad, situations hopeless." Virgil told Dad and I couldn't help but agree with him.

"No it's not, there's still time." Dad said to us and I really wanted to believe him. I really did but I couldn't. "We've got people on the ground working for us."

"Alan? He's just a kid!" I found myself saying.

"He's a Tracy." My Dad said and he didn't sound too sure anymore.

I immediately felt bad, I wanted to take it all back but I knew I couldn't. I felt tears well up in my eyes and begin to trickle down my cheeks.

My oldest brother pulled me into a hug, it wasn't as good as the ones that John gave but I still felt comforted. I closed my eyes and buried my head in Scott's shoulder.

I heard Dad moving around and Virgil moving closer towards us. Scott pulled away briefly and grabbed Virgil and pulled him into the hug with us. I think all three of us were crying.

I heard Dad swear and I looked up from the hug. He was giving John CPR. But that meant that he would have had to have stopped breathing but he was okay though. He had to be.

Scott and Virgil had also looked up by this point; the hug had been broken when Scott moved away. He had returned a couple of minutes later with the respiratory mask and handed them to Dad.

Dad thanked him shortly before continuing on with the administrations. I found myself unable to look away when Dad gave up, silent tears making paths on his cheeks.


	3. Chapter Three

**Virgil's P.O.V**

John was- but he couldn't be. I wanted to scream but there wasn't enough oxygen to do so. John wasn't breathing.

Dad stopped after a couple of minutes of futile administrations and looked up at Scott, Gordon and me. I could see tears on his face, this made my bottom lip tremble but I refused to cry.

I bowed my head and turned away. I didn't want to see my Dad cry. I rubbed my temples softly and jumped out of my skin when someone started to cough. I turned around to glare at the person who had done it only to find my Dad grinning like a madman and pressing the facemask against a barely conscious John's mouth.

I couldn't help but grinning too, my little brother wasn't dead. He was alive, barely though.

"Don't go to sleep." Jeff told John when his eyes began to slip shut. "John, look at me. Keep your eyes open."

There was a commanding tone to my Dad's voice and I found the whole situation kind of funny. I started to laugh.

Scott looked at me like I had gone crazy; I stopped pretty quickly because I found that I couldn't breathe. Things had started floating around a while ago and at first I had found that funny but now John was starting to float around too.

He had always been the lightest out of us and had a lithe frame that he had gotten from Mom. Scott, Gordon, Alan and myself had gotten the bulkier frame of my Dad.

Dad had to basically hold John down but he found that was taking up too much effort. Thinking was starting to take up much too effort and I found myself floating as well. I let my eyes shut and I was soon encased in darkness.

----------------

When I woke up I was on the floor, the air didn't seem quite as thick as it had done before and it was much cooler. I took a deep breath before exhaling slowly. I sat up slowly and looked around, everything that wasn't screwed down was strewn all over the place. I could see Gordon, he was laid flat on his stomach with a grin on his face and eyes wide open.

I looked towards the control panel and I wasn't surprised to see Dad sat on John's usual chair. I got up and went and sat on the other chair at the other end of Control panel.

"Thanks for waking me." Dad was saying.

"Dad!" That was definitely Alan.

"Well done." Dad told him.

"Mr Tracy." Came Fermat's voice. "Confirm access protocol."

I looked at the switches and screens in front of me, "Confirmed. We are back online."

I grinned and started laughing at myself for no particular reason. My Dad sent me a weird look and Gordon joined in. He was no longer on the floor but instead stood behind my chair with a hand on my shoulder.

I didn't hear what they said next until Dad mentioned the Hood, that stopped me laughing.

"Where's the Hood?" Dad asked.

"He's in Thunderbird 2, Mr Tracy. He's heading towards L-L-L-." Brains started.

Lady Penelope cut him off, "London."

"She's right." Brain confirmed.

"He's got the mole on board." Alan chipped in.

Gordon, who had been looking at the screen over my shoulder turned to Dad.

"Thunderbird 3 lost a booster, Dad. We'd never get there on time." He told Dad and I sighed.

"Let me go after the Hood. He'll destroy everything you've built. Everything the Thunderbirds stand for." Alan said, his voice was full of determination.

I was impressed but I knew what Dad's answer was going to be before he had opened his mouth.

"Negative. I'm sorry it's too risky." I was kind of glad that Dad had said no, I didn't want Alan to get hurt. I know we tease him a lot but that's just our way. He's our baby brother; I'd die before I saw him get hurt.

"I can do this you know I can." Alan let out a sigh. "What am I saying? We can do this."

It was a couple of seconds before Dad answered, "Okay Alan. We'll meet you there. Thunderbirds are go."

I heard a "FAB." Then footsteps.

Dad closed the Link and turned to look at Gordon and myself. He had a grin on his face that seemed to be infectious.

"Okay boys, we're out of here." He told us standing up.

I knew something wasn't right and obviously Gordon did as well.

"Wait Dad, where are Scott and John?" I asked him and he turned around the smile slipping off of his face.

He swore and I felt my jaw drop. Dad never swore, not in all my years upon this Earth had I ever heard him use a word like that, of course there had been the occasional 'Damn' or 'Hell' but never before anything else.

"Let's find your Brothers and quickly." Dad told us, Gordon and me nodded in sync.

I stood up just as Scott entered the room. I let out a laugh at the sight of them which made Gordon look up and Dad turn around.

"You can call off the search party." He said softly.

I couldn't stop laughing; John was balanced on Scott's hip with his legs loosely wrapped around his older brother's hips and his arms wrapped around Scott's neck. His head was buried into Scott's neck and all that could be seen was his blonde hair matted with blood.

"Awww." Gordon cooed loudly and I couldn't stop laughing long enough to say anything intelligible.

Scott adjusted John on his hips before saying, "Be quiet you two. He's sleeping."

Dad had a soft smile on his face, "Come on, Boys. We need to get back down to Earth. The Hood needs to be stopped quickly."

We all nodded in the affirmative and moved towards the air lock and into Thunderbird 3.

We were going home. Well, after helping to save the day and the like.

**Scott's P.O.V**

John was like a dead weight in my arms, he didn't move at all. I could only tell that he was still alive by the shallow, un-even breaths he took. I couldn't actually say he was heavy either; he was incredibly light and I had decided once we get back to Tracy Island I was going to make sure he ate three decent meals every day.

I couldn't get him to release his grip of me when we got inside Thunderbird, Dad had to basically pry him off of me so I could sit down and buckle myself in and we had a hell of a time trying to get him to stay in one position long enough to strap him in. I had never realised how difficult John could be while sleeping.

We soon got going though, which I was thankful for, and it seemed like we had been in Thunderbird 3 for ages before Gordon had even fired up the engines.

Virgil and Gordon seemed to be very hyper and I knew that couldn't be good. All I could think was 'Poor Alan' because when they were like this usually it meant they played some huge trick on Alan.

I had decided I wasn't going to join in this time, Alan had proven how grown up he could be and as such he should be treated like an adult. Though, if there was any throwing into the pool of anyone I was going to help.

I grinned as Thunderbird 3 touched down in London; I undid the buckles on my seat and looked at my Dad. He got up out of his seat and moved over to John, who hadn't woken up yet, and started to shake his shoulders vigorously.

I frowned at him and I realised we were just wasting time, "Dad, come on. Alan might need us."

He looked up at me and nodded. We all left Thunderbird 3 pretty quickly; Dad went to help Alan in capturing the Hood while Virgil, Gordon and myself helped with clean up.

It didn't take that long and pretty soon we were sat in front of the Thunderbirds waiting for Dad, Alan and Fermat to return.

"I'm bored." Gordon whined after a couple of minutes of silence between us, I raised my eyebrows at him and Virgil started to laugh.

"Dad'll be back soon." I told him and he nodded, absently picking at a loose thread on his uniform.

Virgil stood up suddenly which made me and Gordon look up at him, "I'm going to go wake John up. He's already missed all the fun."

"Just make sure he doesn't get a hold of you like he did with Scott, might have been the last thing you do." Gordon joked and it brought a grin to Virgil's face and mine.

Then Virgil left and entered Thunderbird 3 leaving me with Gordon. I didn't know what to say but the silence wasn't uncomfortable, knowing Gordon though he was going to break it.

"Do you think we should start to treat Alan more grown up?" He asked me, the question shocked me. I thought he would have been whining about how bored he is again instead of asking a sensible question.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done to my brother?" I questioned him and he burst out laughing.

It was cut short by Virgil returning, I looked up at him with a grin on my face and it immediately slipped off at the sight of him. His face looked pale, his eyes wide. He was shaking slightly and he held a hand out in front of his body dripping with blood.

I jumped to my feet, followed by Gordon not two minutes later, and moved closer to Virgil. I gripped his shoulders lightly, hoping it would comfort him slightly.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my eyes quickly scanned his body for any sign of a wound. I couldn't find one.

"John." He breathed out and I felt a huge wave of guilt hit me. Since beginning my conversation with Gordon I hadn't thought of my middle brother once, I had just assumed he was going to be all right.

He had to be. John was quiet and reliable, sensible too. He was always there when you had a problem or you just wanted some one to listen to you. I know that when Mom passed away all that was holding me together was John.

I closed my eyes before opening them slowly, "What's wrong with him? And where is the blood from?"

"His back. I don't know how we didn't notice before." He mumbled, trying hard not to cry.

"What about his back?" I pried; I needed to know. Not only as a brother but also as a leader. I had to know so I could work out a plan in my head as to what to do.

"There's some shrapnel in it and a huge burn. It's horrible Scott." Virgil told me and leaned forwards for a hug. I gave him one but I pulled away quickly.

"Gordon, go get some medical personnel and bring them back here. I'll bring John out." I told them.

"F.A.B" Gordon said before running off.

"What should I do?" Virgil asked, still quite pale.

"Stay here and keep your eyes open for Dad and Alan, okay?"

Virgil nodded and I pulled him into a quick hug before quickly entering Thunderbird 3. I made my way over to John as quick as I could and all I could think when I saw him was about how pale he looked.

"John." I said. "John, wake up."

I gave his shoulders a shake; probably a bit more vigorous than I intended to, and it was then I caught sight of all the blood. It was a bit hard not to. It was everywhere, all down the back of John's uniform and on the chair. I could see the shrapnel sticking out of his back; it looked to be deep.

It took everything I had to not burst into tears. Here was my little brother bleeding to death because we hadn't noticed the shrapnel. I was so angry with myself, why didn't I see it? I could have prevented this.

"John?" I tried again, my voice sounded weak in my own ears and my arms now hung limply at my sides.

I dropped to my knees in front of the seat I had deposited him in earlier and I brushed my hand against his cheek. It was cold and clammy.

"Scott?" I heard a voice from behind me.

I turned my head to find Virgil stood over me, I looked up into his face and he reached down and brushed away some tears from my cheeks that I hadn't noticed I had cried.

I shouldn't cry, I'm Scott Tracy. Member of International rescue and Pilot of Thunderbird 1. I shouldn't cry. I need to be strong for my younger brothers, they need me.

"Gordon came back with the paramedics." He told me and I nodded before standing.

I carefully lifted up John, careful not to jostle him, and I left Thunderbird 3 with Virgil right behind me.

When we stepped out into the sunlight there were 2 paramedics waiting for us with some of their equipment. I noticed there was a stretcher as well; Gordon had probably briefed them about John's injuries already.

The female medic of the two stepped forwards and offered me a small smile. Her black hair had been tied back in a ponytail and her blue eyes seemed to sparkle in the sunlight. It's weird how I always take more note of details when I'm upset or panicked.

"Could you please set him down on the stretcher?" She asked me, her voice was light and squeaky. It had a childlike quality to it in a way.

I found it grating on my nerves straight away.

I nodded and put John down on the stretcher before stepping back so they could do their jobs.

They worked for a couple of minutes in silence, getting a heart monitor working and other medical equipment. While checking John's pupils the female paramedic spoke once again.

"What's his name?" She asked.

"John." Gordon told her and she nodded before calling John's name.

She nodded once again before turning and whispering to the other paramedic who nodded before turning and leaving.


	4. Chapter Four

A/N: Chapter four here and I wish to apologise for not thanking everyone who reviewed this story in the last chapter. I'm sorry. I completely forgot about an Author's note, but there's one here. Anyways, thanks again. In this chapter we see things from Alan's P.O.V, enjoy!

Disclaimer: For all chapters, don't own nothing apart from a pair of socks and two lemon bon bons.

****

**Jeff's P.O.V**

I had my arm slung around Alan's shoulders as we made our way back to the Thunderbirds, TinTin and Fermat were following closely behind talking in-between themselves.

I hadn't expected to see an ambulance parked next to the Thunderbirds, I hadn't expected to see paramedics loading my middle child into it and I certainly hadn't expected to see tears tracks on both Scott and Virgil's faces.

I sent a quick glance at Alan who was staring at the ambulance with a look of disbelief on his face.

"I thought you said everyone was alright?" He asked.

I sighed, "I thought everyone had been."

"You were wrong obviously, shows how much you know about your own family." He told me bitterly before shrugging my arm off of his shoulder and running into Thunderbird 1.

I noticed that TinTin and Fermat shared glances before running after Alan. Scott's eyes widened when he noticed where they were going, he started after them.

I could hear Scott's shouts of protests and Alan's responses but I wasn't really listening. My focus was centred on my three remaining children and I decided that I needed to be strong.

"Gordon, Virgil." I barked. "What's going on?"

"It was worse than we thought, sir." Virgil told me; in my eyes he looked pale. Even under all the dirt that covered his face. "His back…"

I nodded and sneaked a glance at Gordon who was stood rather close to Virgil, as if he was trying to draw comfort off of him somehow. I have always been amazed at how the younger of my sons always looked to the elder ones for comfort in some source. In some way I was proud at how much they trust and love each other and in other ways I knew it was like a disaster waiting to happen. If one of them died then

everything would come crashing down. I didn't want to think about it.

The paramedics had finished loading John into the ambulance and the female paramedic who was riding in the back with him asked us, "Who's coming with him?"

I looked at Gordon and Virgil, and made my decision.

"Boys, you get the Thunderbirds back home. I'll keep you updated on the situation as things progress."

"F.A.B." They said in unison and turned to go back to their respective birds.

"And make sure Scott doesn't kill Alan." I told them trying to lighten their moods.

For my effort I got a nod of the head from Virgil and a small grin from Gordon before they disappeared.

I quickly boarded the Ambulance and as we made our way to the hospital I watched my son's face as it seemed to pale even further.

I listened as the two paramedics called to each other all the while the female paramedic working quickly on John.

I couldn't look away from his face. He had a slight grimace marred his features but other than that he looked peaceful, almost as if he was asleep. I realised I never got to watch John sleep anymore unlike with my other four sons, though, I only got to see Alan when he was home from boarding school. That was more often than John being at home.

I've always had a fascination with watching people sleep, especially my boys. It's the time when their masks slip, when I get to see the real them. The people they try to hide from everyone else. They all look so innocent while sleeping. Just like they did when they were children.

I remember that I used to annoy the hell out of Lucille with my obsessions on some nights and on others she wouldn't question me, instead she would just follow my lead.

The first night after we had brought Scott home from the hospital is still so clear in my mind. We spent it all just staring at the little bundle in Lucille's arms, he looked so perfect it was indescribable. Still is. At the time I thought I would perhaps never feel like this again but I had been proved wrong. Virgil had been born.

I know Scott probably can't remember but I do. I can remember the way he'd stare at his brother and gently poke him in the face every time he saw him. Not enough to hurt the baby, but enough to make sure he was real and not some weird dream.

As Scott and Virgil grew older, they formed a strong bond that I don't think has been broken yet. Sure, they had their childish arguments about nothing but they always made up shortly afterwards. They were happy with it just being the two of them.

If I could have changed they way in which Lucille and me dealt with Scott and Virgil about John's birth I would. In a heartbeat I would. At the time they were respectively six and five, both old enough to be told about what was happening. But we didn't, we left them in the dark instead. It was a horrible thing to do but we did it anyway.

It seems rather stupid to think back now, I can't believe we never sat them down and explained what was happening. I think we just assumed they would know, just like we assumed they wanted a younger sibling.

We were wrong; Scott and Virgil came up with so many ideas about how to get rid of John it was unbelievable. Some of them very nearly worked as well.

Hiding the baby in the closet, the laundry basket, the trunk of the car, behind the sofa, Grandma's suitcases, under Virgil's bed and the neighbour's backyard. It was surprising really that John grew up absolutely adoring his older brothers, always following them around everywhere and wanting to join in with their games.

They never let him though; I don't think he cared as long as his big brothers talked to him and paid him attention.

From John's second night home until he was six he slept in the same bed as myself and Lucille, apart from the odd night when he slept in his own bed, it was very aggravating at times though it gave me so many opportunities to watch him sleep.

Virgil always slept with his thumb in his mouth when he was younger; he still does now sometimes, even at the age of twenty-six. Lucille would laugh softly whenever we entered his room and saw sucking away at his thumb.

When Lucille found out she was pregnant with Gordon we explained what was happening to the then nine and eight year-olds. They understood and at first weren't very happy about getting another little brother or a sister but when they saw Gordon for the first time they were ecstatic.

Their huge smiles lit up the hospital room and all they could do was stare at the redhead in Lucille's arms. I think staring must be a genetic order that I've passed down to each of my sons or maybe they got it from Lucille but it doesn't really matter, all I could see in front of me was the precious bundle in my wife's arm which was my fourth son.

Gordon stared back at each and every one of us, his eyes twinkled and I knew that from this point onwards he was going to be trouble.

And I was correct of course; he is the prankster king in our family. His red hair, which puzzled my Mother and Lucille so much, was now gone, in its stead was a dark brown colour. I don't quite know the exact details of how it occurred but the word 'revenge' was definitely in the explanation.

As I stared at John I found myself thinking of Alan, of every time I've been sat at his bedside and of every time I was there for him after he had a nightmare. I honestly think that the boys and me have spoiled him, even through all of the teasing that they'd subject him to. I've never found a way to say no to Alan before, never. I think he looks too much like Lucille, The Lord knows how I'd never had said no to her.

I know I'm nothing compared to Lucille but I've tried my best to be there for all of my sons. I've supported them in nearly everything they've done and I'm proud of each one of them.

"Sir?" Her voice broke through my thoughts and I snapped my head up to lock eyes with her.

It was then I noticed we weren't moving anymore. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"We're here." She told me.

**Alan's P.O.V**

The rush that had been running through my veins after defeating the Hood had now turned to anger. Anger at my Dad, how could he lie to me like that? He told me everyone was all right but he lied.

John's not all right, well, he definitely didn't look it. He's probably at the hospital right now, joking with Dad and he's laughing in return. They've both probably forgotten about me, I've been a good boy. I've helped clean up the Island after the Hood's attack. I've done everything they've asked me to do, I've proven myself today.

If it weren't for me, my Dad and my Brothers would all be dead. Don't I deserve some kind of recognition for that? Don't I deserve more than just pats on the back and hugs from Scott, Virgil and Gordon? Don't I deserve to become a member or International Rescue?

I know I do.

Stupid John, this is all his fault. I bet he's only faking being hurt to steal Dad's attention away from me. He didn't even do anything brave today, I bet he never has done in his entire life. He's never been on any cool missions; instead he stays up in Thunderbird having it easy while Scott, Virgil, Gordon and Dad have to work their butts off saving lives. He doesn't even do anything on Thunderbird 5, just watch the stars.

I've walked around for the past half an hour, not looking where I'm headed and somehow I found myself at the beach. The same spot from where I'd seen the Hood's submarine surface. How ironic.

"Hey, Squirt." I heard from behind me and I spun around to see Gordon standing there.

I'm closest to Gordon than I am with any of my other brothers; I think it must be the age gap or something.

I turned back around so I was facing the ocean but I answered him, "Hey."

"What's wrong?" He asked me, I was kind of surprised he was being serious but at the same time not.

"Nothing." I told him before sinking onto the sand.

He joined me soon after and we sat in silence for a couple of minutes but knowing Gordon it wouldn't last long.

"Are you worried about John?" He asked me and I felt anger well up in my chest.

"No." I told him shortly.

"There's nothing to be ashamed about you know, I'm worried too." Gordon told me, I could tell he was trying to do a Dad but it wasn't working. I've always hated Gordon when he's trying to be mature, give me crazy, eccentric Gordon any day.

"I'm not worried about John, he could die for all I care." I said to him and I meant it.

Gordon didn't say anything so I thought it would be safe to carry on, "He's never at home, it's like we don't exist to him. We're only there when he's in trouble or he needs something. He's so selfish, how come he doesn't come back to Earth and help you guys with missions? Is he better than you guys? Is his own life too precious for him to stop staring at the stars and come down and help once in a while? Huh? I bet he knew it was a missile tha-"

I didn't get chance to finish my sentence before I received a fist in my mouth which effectively shut me up. I hissed in pain before looking at Gordon, he was standing now with his fists clenched and arms hanging at his sides. He was leaning over me, stopping the dying light of the sun from reaching me.

"You hit me." I said, my voice was thick and I was sure I could taste blood in my mouth.

"You deserved it." Gordon almost growled. "I don't believe how stupid you are, you don't even understand half of the things that are going on before you take judgement. And, of course, every situation has got to be centred on you. The only person you have ever cared about is yourself; it's always been you. Haven't you ever thought about anyone else in your entire life? About what they're feeling or why their head works the way it does? I just can't-" He let out a frustrated grunt before turning around and stalking back up to the house.

All I could do was sit there, with a hand held to my mouth, thinking. Gordon was lying; he had to be. I always think of other people, I always put their lives in front of mine. Or do I? Am I really that self-centred?

No, I can't be. Gordon just must be upset about John, that had to be it. When Dad gets back I'll have to tell him what Gordon did to me, he'll make everything better.


	5. Chapter Five

A/N: Thanks to everyone that reviewed, you rule!

**John's P.O.V**

Everything was black; it reminded me of space, massive and never ending although there were no tiny pricks of light. There were no stars. Nothing.

Silence had enveloped me at some point, I don't know how or when but it just was. I was scared; I didn't want to be here.

I couldn't be dead, could I? What if I was? I'd never be able to see my Father or Brothers again. I'd never be able to hear their laughter or teasing. Never be able to see their faces or feel their arms wrap around me in a hug. Never again.

I started to panic when I realised I couldn't feel my body. I was just floating in black, eternal night. I was starting to find it hard to breathe; I couldn't seem to be able to gulp in enough oxygen.

It was then I started to feel. A prick in my arm started it off and slowly but surely the feeling returned to my body.

It hurt, oh God. It hurt so much. I could feel but I wish I couldn't, I wanted to return to the state I was before. It was getting harder and harder to remember what that was like.

All there was was pain. There was a point in the middle of my back where it felt like a white-hot sword had been plunged into it.

Still, my breaths had not become any easier and now adding to the fact I was crying, the tears burnt paths down my cheeks, it was so hard. Too hard.

Invisible hands were touching and prodding me from all sides, though I think they were trying to be gentle it sure as hell didn't sound

like it. Especially when one touched my back only centimetres away from my wound.

I heard a scream; it was so loud that it nearly shattered my eardrums. It didn't last long but it was so full of pain and longing. Maybe the person that screamed was hoping for it to all end soon, maybe hoping for there to be no more pain. Maybe they were crying for a loved one they would never see again. Maybe that person was me.

Voices, too many, they were distorted and so loud. Louder than the scream. So maybe it wasn't a scream, maybe I was just imagining it. Maybe none of this was real; instead it was some kind of hell. Being so close to life but so far way at the same time.

Was I being punished? If I were I promise I'd never do it again, whatever it was. I'd apologise for everything I did wrong and for every rule I broke. I just wanted it to stop.

Footsteps, people were leaving. There were no more hands left, everyone had given up. Finally, there was no one left in the room.

How could they? I'm still here; I'm trying to get back. I want to go back. I'm trying so hard but I can feel myself slipping away. What's happening? No, please, no. I don't want to die alone. Where was everyone?

My Dad; my Brothers. I need them now, where are they? Why aren't they helping? Why aren't they here? Holding my hand and telling me everything is going to be all right, joking about things that happened when we were children. Just being here.

Had they given up too? Maybe they were angry with me, maybe they had found out I had known about the missile. They wanted me to die because I had endangered their lives.

I'm sorry I was so selfish; I'm being selfish right now. All I want to do is say goodbye and I'm sorry.

I've always wanted to be strong and I've tried so hard throughout my life to be as strong as my Dad and my Brothers, if not stronger. But I think I failed, I'm never going to be able get stronger because this is the end.

It's still so black, it's cold and I can feel myself shaking.

Dad- You mean the world to me. You're my idol; you've always held that position. You showed me the stars and gave me hope when everything seemed doomed to fail. Thank you.

Scott- You've always been a good influence, someone who I have always been happy to look up to. You're so strong, my rock if not everyone else's as well. Don't change.

Virgil- I want to hear you play your music again, your music when I was little used to make me incredibly happy. It still does. You put so much effort into it, you pour your entire soul into playing your music. I've always loved that about you.

Gordon- Your pranks are always amusing if not sometimes annoying. You always find a way to make everyone laugh, a quality I've always wanted to have. Keep everyone smiling for me.

Alan- I've watched you grow and though you do have your moments, you've grown to be a great person. You'll be a thunderbird soon enough and what a man you'll be. Remember one thing though, always say no if Dad asks you a favour involving Thunderbird 5. Good luck in the future, Kiddo.

I'm nearly gone. Nothing's left; the pain has finally gone. I'm not real anymore. Was I ever? I don't think I can hear anything anymore apart from the fast, unsteadying beating of my heart. It's getting louder and louder.

How can that be possible? How can my heart be beating in five different rhythms at once? Is it?

**Scott's P.O.V**

Each of us had had a shower once we had gotten home then helped with the clean up of the house, Lady Penelope and Parker had set off on their journey back to England only 10 minutes ago. It hadn't taken that long to clean everything up, there were quite a few of us after all.

Fermat and Brains had gone down to the lab once the clean up was done while Kyrano, TinTin and Ohana. Scott understood the need for them all to spend time with each other, that's what families did after all.

I was worried, not to mention scared. I didn't let it show though. I had to be strong for my little Brothers. They needed me.

I brushed some of my hair out of my eyes as me and Virgil sat in silence in the living room. We didn't know what to say to each other but the silence was nice, a change from the usual Tracy Island.

Gordon stormed into the room from the kitchen, his face was a mask of fury and his fists were shaking. He jumped down on the sofa opposite the one Virgil and me were seated on.

"Gordon?" I queried, hoping it wouldn't make him explode.

"What?" He snapped.

"What's wrong?" Virgil asked, his voice was steady.

"Alan-" That was all the explanation I needed but Gordon continued. "-said that John probably already knew about the missile and that John was selfish for staying up in Thunderbird 5 instead of coming down and helping with missions!"

Virgil's eyes widened and I'm pretty sure mine did too.

"He said that?" Virgil asked and Gordon nodded.

"What did you do to him?" I asked him; aware of the fact that Gordon had a short temper when it came to people bad-mouthing people who weren't present or couldn't defend themselves.

Gordon blushed lightly and bowed his head, he looked ashamed and all traces of his previous anger had gone. "I, err, kind of punched him."

I was about to scold him when my wristwatch started beeping, I pressed a button on it and my Father's face appeared on the screen. He looked pale and shaky; this made me terrified, Dad never showed his emotions unless something was really bad.

"Dad?" I choked out.

"Scott." He said and I noticed that this voice wavered ever so slightly. "Round up your brothers and get here quickly, I don't care how you do it just be quick."

"What are your coordinates?" I asked although I really wanted to say 'What's wrong?'

"I'll send them through, just hurry Scott." He told me and I nodded.

"F.A.B." I then closed the link with him. "Virgil, go get Alan. Gordon, go tell Brains we're leaving and no rescues are to take place. Meet me in Thunderbird 1 silo."

Both of my younger brothers nodded before running off in separate directions. I started making my way down to Thunderbird 1, muttering a prayer under my breath. Everything had to be ok, it just had to be. I had to be strong.

I was soon at Thunderbird 1; I quickly boarded and took my seat. I was joined a couple of minutes later by Gordon and then Virgil arrived nearly 10 minutes later with Alan in tow.

To put it quite simply I was seething, "Where the hell have you two been?" I asked as they buckled themselves into their seats and I started up my 'Bird's engines.

"Our baby Brother had decided to go walk about." Virgil told me sending an angry glare at Alan who just looked sourly ahead.

I shook my head and soon we were off towards the coordinates my Dad had sent me. No one spoke as we got flew through the air. Each of us were lost in our thoughts, I opened a communications link with my Dad.

"Dad, we're nearly there. Is there anywhere where I could land Thunderbird 1?" I asked him.

He smiled tiredly, "The hospital have cautioned off a part of the car park and I have talked to the local cops, they said they'd set up a guard to watch Thunderbird 1."

I nodded, "ETA 6 minutes."

Dad nodded before closing the link. I sighed and sat back in my chair, I couldn't stop myself from frowning.

"What's happening?" Alan asked, he didn't sound as confident as he usually did.

"We don't know," Virgil told him. "Apart from it's not good."

"Is John Ok?" Alan asked.

"As Virgil said, we don't know." I told him.

He didn't say anything else for the remainder of the journey, no one did. As we expected there was a place to land in the hospital's car park. I hadn't even shut down all the engines properly before my three younger brother's had rushed off of Thunderbird 1.

Dad was waiting for us, he pulled Alan into a hug before he lead us up into the hospital and we all boarded the elevator.

"What's going on?" I asked as soon as the doors closed, there were no other people on the elevator so we could drop our pretences.

My Dad let out a tired sigh and I noticed he suddenly looked 10 years older.

"Dad?" Gordon prompted him.

Dad had one of his arms hung loosely around Alan's neck and I felt a wave of jealousy wash over me.

Why wasn't Dad showing so much affection to the rest of us? Didn't he love us as much? We were all his children, we all needed comfort. Not just Alan, I didn't say anything though.

"The Doctor's said." He paused. "They said he has only got a few hours left before…" He trailed off.

Each of us reacted in different ways to this news. I was silent with my heart slowly breaking on the inside, Virgil was crying silently leaning against the wall of the Elevator, Gordon was shouting and kicking the walls of the elevator and Alan looked like he was going to pass out. Dad just stood there, not doing or saying anything.

Suddenly, I was scared. I didn't want to see what condition John was in, I didn't want to see him die right in front of my eyes. I could feel my body start to shake as the elevator pinged.

Gordon was first off, closely followed by Virgil and then finally Alan and Dad. I didn't move though. I couldn't.

Virgil noticed and turned around, he looked me straight in the eyes and all I could see was pain and misery. He moved over to me and pulled me into a hug, I found strength from it and I knew I had to be strong now.

Virgil and myself slipped out of the elevator just as the doors started to shut. We followed our family down the hall, our feet hitting the floor was the only noise I could hear apart from my own ragged breaths.

Dad, who was leading our group, stopped outside a door at the end of the corridor. One of his shaky hands twisted the doorknob before pushing the door forwards; he then took a step inside the room. He was followed by Alan not a second later, then Virgil entered.

Gordon didn't look angry anymore; instead he looked lost and forlorn. I couldn't help myself; I had to hug him, I just hoped it would have the same effect on him as it did when Virgil hugged me.

I didn't expect him to burst into tears; I was shocked to say the least. I pulled away slightly.

"Gordy?" I asked, unsure of myself.

"I'm sorry." Gordon sobbed. "It's just that," He paused "John gives the best hugs, just like Mom."

I nodded and gave him a squeeze before letting go completely.

"Lets go inside." I told him and I got a nod in response.

I took a deep breath before entering the hospital room with Gordon at my heels.


	6. Chapter Six

A/N: Thanks again to my great reviewers, I love you guys. And I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit short and boring, it's a bit of a filler chapter.

**Virgil's P.O.V**

He looked so pale and small. I wanted to grab him and pull him into a hug, whisper in his ear that everything was going to be ok. Not that he would be able to hear it; he was out cold.

I moved to the side of John's bed and held one of his freezing hands in my own. I rubbed it slowly all the while with tears running down my cheeks. Only a little while before he was going to…

I let out a sob and I felt my knees buckle, I would have fallen if Scott hadn't have caught me. He put me in a chair before moving it closer to the bed so I could once again hold John's hand.

I closed my eyes and bowed my head; there was silence in the room for a while. Only broken by the machine that was telling us John was still alive.

Scott had a hand on my shoulder and there was someone stood next to him, I presumed it to be Gordon but I wouldn't know unless I opened my eyes. I didn't want to though so they remained closed.

I heard the shuffling of feet as someone moved to stand at the other side of the bed.

"Johnny?" Dad's voice wavered as he spoke that one word. "Wake up, please. Just one last time, let us see you smile."

I cracked open my eyes and moved my head so I could see the bed and the motion-less figure that lay on it. Dad was crying and he too held one of John's hands in his own.

Alan was stood just behind him with a confused look on his face, like he didn't understand what was happening. How could he not understand? One of his brothers was dying right in front of him! The least he could do was look a bit upset.

I felt angry; at Alan, at the Hood and at the whole injustice of everything. Why was this happening? Why?

I brushed away the tears from my face and watched as my Dad kissed John's forehead before straightening up and looking around at each one of us.

He motioned for us all to come outside and we followed, just like we usually did.

"We'll take it in turns to say our goodbyes, a few minutes each. Scott, you're first." Dad told us.

Scott nodded before re-entering the room; his face was sombre and he looked pale. I knew he was hurting inside, killing him, but he put on a brave face for us. Being strong for the rest of us. He was probably thinking that somehow this was his entire fault, that he was responsible somehow. Which he wasn't.

None of us said anything and there was silence apart from the occasional sniffle from either Gordon or myself and the low murmur of Scott's voice from inside John's room.

What I said to John was going to be the last thing I was ever go to say to him before he died. I'd never be able to talk to him again, I'd never be able to see him smile or laugh at him when he did something stupid. I'd never again be able to call him in the middle of the night and talk his ear off for hours, he'd be gone.

I know I'm going to sound selfish when I say this but who am I going to go to when I need someone to listen to my problems and give me halfway decent advice? Who was I going to go to when I wanted to moan about how unfair the world was or to talk about girls?

It wouldn't be the same with Scott; his advice has always been lame and he's great to talk to about anything, apart from girls. Sure, he's had experience with them but he wasn't one to discuss things like that. John would though, not that he got much action up on Thunderbird 5.

I'm feeling empty already and John hasn't even died yet, that sounded horrible. I wanted him to die. I don't though but at the same time it'd be much less painful. I think. No. Yes. No. Yes.

I started to laugh, I was arguing with myself. Was this a sigh that I was going insane? I found that thought even funnier and I started laughing so much I was finding it hard to breath.

Gordon sent me a murderous glare and Alan just stared at me apprehensively, like he was scared that I was going to do attack him or something. He was probably thinking that too, selfish brat.

Ok, I really have to stop now. Scott's re-joined us and now it's my turn, I can't go in there laughing my head off and I somehow manage to reduce my laughter to the occasional giggle.

All it took was a few steps and I was in the room, it took only a couple more before I was beside John's bed. All it took was second for my laughter to start up once again, this was so ironic.

John, the good son who has never done anything wrong in his life, was dying. All it took was a piece of shrapnel wedged deep in his back from an explosion caused by a crazed lunatic firing a missile at the defenceless space station. Not much. After all the rescues we've been through, all the scary and impossible situations where so much could have gone wrong, it was one piece of shrapnel.

My hand jutted forwards from my body and I felt like I was drunk, a ran a finger down John's cold cheek.

That was all it took for me to realise that this was real and nothing I could do about it was going to change it.

I needed something to say, to explain how I felt and to tell him goodbye. Nothing would come to mind.

It was silent; it was then I noticed I wasn't laughing anymore. I was crying, I watched as a teardrop landed on John's face and it was closely followed by another and another.

If I didn't leave soon I was pretty sure someone, Gordon most likely, would come in here and kick me out.

I quickly stooped and pressed my lips against John's forehead before standing back up straight.

"I love you John, we all do, never forget." I said then I left, before my insane laughter started up once again.

**Gordon's P.O.V.**

Virgil was crazy. How could he be laughing while being in the same room as his dying brother? There was nothing even remotely funny about the whole situation.

He was laughing and crying at the same time when he left the room. He would have fallen to the floor again if Scott hadn't caught him for the second time, I didn't waste my time on them though.

I quickly entered the room, my footfall sounded confident. I was confident. I knew exactly what to say, as long as I didn't look at him. No, looking at him would make me freeze and make me loose my control. Yes, I was in control.

"Big Brother, thank you for everything you've ever done for me. Even if at the time I didn't appreciate the help you gave me or if I didn't listen to anything you said. Thank you for the hugs you give, gave, they're the best. I know I've never told you this before but I love your hugs so you're not allowed to go because I need them. I need them so much and I don't care if I'm being selfish at the moment because Alan's right for a change. You're selfish. You're being selfish right now by not holding on, for giving up. How could you, John? You've always told me to never give up, so why have you? You're weak John, I've always thought you to be so much stronger. I hate you for doing this. For breaking up the family, for being the first to give in."

I sneaked a glance at you and that was all it took for my resolve to shatter. I started to sob and it hurt, I soon found myself lying beside the motionless figure of my older brother with my arms wrapped around him, pulling him into a hug.

"I'm sorry." I gasped in-between sobs. "I'm so sorry."

And I was. Sorry for speaking such cruel words to someone who has been anything but selfish his whole life.

I just wished that things hadn't turned out like this. John and me had made plans when we were younger to travel the world, see everything we've ever wanted to and then come back home to gloat to our brothers.

I've travelled the world, been to nearly everywhere on Earth but never with John. He's always been stuck up on Thunderbird 5 so he's never been on many missions but if he had the chance I bet he would have been on as many as possible.

How could Alan have said the things he did? Why was he so stupid? I can guess where he's coming from though, if I think really hard, he's never really spent that much time with John. Even when we were all small.

I don't regret hitting him; I think he deserved it. Dad will probably have words with me about it later but then again, under the circumstances, he may just forget. Not that I'm really bothered.

I'm feeling rather empty at the moment. I feel like I did when I was told Mom was dead. The only things I remember about her are her hugs and the way she smelt. Just like freshly baked cookies. I remember her cookies too; they were really crumbly and melted in your mouth. Alan and me used to try and steal them, usually with the help of either Scott or Virgil, but Mom always caught us. She'd smile and shake her head before ushering us out of the kitchen.

He was so cold, I knew I had to leave soon but I didn't want to. I wanted to stay in this position forever and hold onto the only reminder of Mom. He'd be gone soon.

Now I was the one that was being selfish. Well, so what if I was? I didn't care anymore. I think I was beyond caring. I pulled John closer, so close that our foreheads were touching. My own felt like a furnace compared to his, it was then I noticed him moving.

His body shook as tremors wracked his body. I had to admit that it scared me; I wanted to run and get a doctor or Dad. Dad seemed like a good option right now, he always seemed to make things better.

I unwrapped my arms from around John and got off of the bed, quickly.

Suddenly, I felt trapped as if the walls were closing in on me. I needed to get out.

I was aware, though, that this would be the last time I would probably see John alive so I did the only thing I could think of to say goodbye. I grabbed his hand in my own and gave it a soft squeeze before letting it drop onto the bed.

I nearly ran from the room after that. I received a startled glance from Alan and a hopeful one from Dad.

"Has he…?" He trailed off.

"Woken up? No." I hated to squash his hopes but I suppose it had to be done.

I saw his face fall and I quickly looked away. I moved so I was stood in front of the wall, opposite the door.

I watched as I saw Alan enter, uncertainly, he looked back at Dad once for support and received a tiny smile in return.

I prayed to God that he would find the right things to say because he might just regret it if he didn't say everything he wanted to. I felt kind of sorry for Alan, this was two family members lost he didn't know.


	7. Chapter Seven

A/N: Thanks to Zeilfanaat, SnowKitten1, Tbird freak, Capt. Cow (Great name, btw, farmyard animals rule!), Moonlight Sea, IloveSam and Laura B for the reviews. They're greatly aprreaciated.

This chapter might be a bit boring, so I apologise in advance. Don't hurt me!

**John's P.O.V**

It was, it had to be. Five people; my Brothers and Dad, it just had to be them. Maybe they had forgiven me, or maybe they had never been angry in the first place.

I could hear them shuffling around the room and then one held my hand. They felt so hot and their grip hurt me, I didn't think it was intentional. I heard a loud noise, a sob. It sounded so close to me but I felt so far away.

The hand let go of mine and there was noise as if someone had moved quickly, then there was the sound of a chair being pushed across the floor and someone falling into it.

My hand was then being held again by the same figure. His hands were soft and slim, only a bit bigger than my own. They must be Virgil's; they just had to be.

There was once again shuffling, though on a lesser degree as opposed to before. I think it was only one person doing the moving.

Suddenly, really big hands were holding my other hand. They were hot too, so much hotter than the other pair. I wanted to move away from both of them because it hurt, God, it hurt so much but I found myself unable to move.

"Johnny?"

That one word immediately identified the person. Dad. I remember when he used to call me that when I was little, it seems so unreal right now.

"Wake up, please. Just one last time, let us see you smile."

What did he mean, 'One last time'? Was I dying? They had given up on me, they were getting ready to say goodbye. Didn't they have any faith in me? I am going to get better. I am, I don't want my family to hurt.

My Dad is hurting; I can hear it in his voice. His actions. He had given up on me but I suppose I couldn't blame, after all, the situation seemed hopeless. Even from where I am. How was I supposed to wake up? I could try but I don't know how much longer I could hold on. How long could I stay awake.

Then everyone was gone. I was left alone, or maybe I had been alone all along? Perhaps, they hadn't come. I had just imagined it all. But, if that was true, who was this coming into the room? A nurse, probably.

The person didn't do anything for a couple of seconds, choosing instead just to stand beside my bed. I didn't know if he was staring at me or not, he probably was.

"John, this is all my fault." He started and only one person could blame himself for something he didn't do, it had to be Scott.

I wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault that he couldn't have prevented anything that had happened. I wanted to tell him that I loved him and had done a brilliant job at being the eldest brother to us all. I could hear the faint sound of laughter; it was so far away, I am so far away.

I couldn't move. It was then I noticed he was talking again.

"I know you would be protesting if you were awake, you've always been happy to see the best in people instead of their faults. That was one of the best things about you, Johnny. You never judged me. I want to say thank you and I love you. Send Mom my love."

He then ran a finger across the back of my left hand before leaving the room, probably holding his head high pretending that everything was going to be ok.

So that was it? Scott's goodbye. The last time I'll be able to hear his voice, I couldn't say I wasn't scared although he did bring up one good point. I'll be able to see Mom again.

That was something that would make everything so much more easier to bare but I still didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay; I wanted to be able to spend more time with my Brothers and Dad.

Virgil was in the room now; I knew it was him because of his laughter. He was laughing, but what at? Was he laughing at me? At my bad luck?

No that couldn't be it; it had to be something else. He was probably laughing at the injustice of it all because that was Virgil. He laughed; I remember when Dad told us that Mom was dead. He laughed. That was his way, laughing.

I wanted to laugh with him but I still couldn't move. I hadn't even been able to open my eyes yet so how would I be able to laugh?

I felt him run a scolding finger down my cheek, his finger shook slightly and then it was gone in it's place were drops of hot water. One after another.

He wasn't laughing anymore, instead he was crying. I didn't want him to cry, not for me.

He kissed my forehead and I listened as he spoke his goodbye. The last time I'd get to hear his voice.

"I love you John, we all do, never forget." He said before he left.

I could hear his footsteps as he exited the room, they sounded too loud.

Why was I still here? Why hadn't I died yet? This was taking too long, the pain I had been feeling returned in full volume. It was sudden and it scared me, I wanted to scream and shout but my mouth wouldn't open.

This wasn't a good sign was it? Or maybe it was. I don't know, I have no idea about anything anymore. I couldn't even control my own body anymore.

I felt trapped, like I did on Thunderbird 5 sometimes. Not that I would ever actually tell anyone, they'd get worried and they already had too much to worry about. I had thought it best just to keep it to myself.

The next set of footsteps was quick to enter the room, they sounded sure of themselves. This person was in control, I would have guessed it to be Scott but he had already said goodbye.

It had to be Gordon, it was confirmed when he spoke.

"Big Brother, thank you for everything you've ever done for me. Even if at the time I didn't appreciate the help you gave me or if I didn't listen to anything you said. Thank you for the hugs you give, gave, they're the best. I know I've never told you this before but I love your hugs so you're not allowed to go because I need them."

Gordon liked my hugs? That explains a lot; out of all my brothers he had always been the first to ask for a hug when something had upset them. Or maybe it had just been with me he had been like that. I didn't care, as long as I had made him happy.

He didn't stop there though, "I need them so much and I don't care if I'm being selfish at the moment because Alan's right for a change. You're selfish."

Alan said I was selfish? What, when? I feel bad, he's right of course. I am selfish, I'm still alive. I should be dead for everything I've done, for not telling them it was a missile. I should be with my Mom now instead of sucking up oxygen, I shouldn't be still here causing all this pain for my family.

"You're being selfish right now by not holding on, for giving up. How could you, John? You've always told me to never give up, so why have you? You're weak John, I've always thought you to be so much stronger. I hate you for doing this. For breaking up the family, for being the first to give in."

He really knows what he's on about, that's my Gordon. I think I should be feeling angry with Gordon for what he just said but I can't. It's as simple as that. How can I be angry with him for speaking the truth?

Gordon got onto the bed with me and pulled me into a hug, pulled me close to the inferno that was his body. I couldn't resist, tell him it was too hot.

He was crying now, great big sobs. Once again one of my Brothers was crying, I wanted to wipe away his tears and tell him everything was going to be alright.

I couldn't.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He sobbed, and I found myself wondering what he was sorry for? I couldn't think of anything.

After a couple of minutes I felt myself being pulled closer to his body, my forehead against his. I was glad for the contact, even if it did bring pain.

My body was shaking and I didn't know why or how to stop it, I was terrified once again. I'm scared a lot, I've noticed. Who wouldn't be though?

I felt him get off of the bed and then run from the room.

I was alone once again. Dad probably would want to go last so it was Alan's turn now. I felt myself getting nervous, I was kind of scared as to what Alan was going to say.

I heard hesitant, soft footsteps as they made their way to the bed I was resting on. He stopped at, I guessed, the foot of my bed.

He didn't say anything. Nothing. I had expected him to be shouting at me, talking to me, screaming, crying, anything. Not silence, definitely not. He just stood there, I couldn't here him move.

Then finally he spoke, "Goodbye, John."

I could hear him walking back to the doorway, that couldn't have been it.

I had to stop him, I don't know why but I had to.

It sounded loud in my ears and I prayed to God that Alan had heard it, if he didn't then that was it.

I had called him name.

**Alan's P.O.V**

Okay, I'm here. I'm in the same room as he is; I'm stood at the bottom of his bed just staring at him. What do I say?

I couldn't think straight; my thoughts were everywhere. I had opened my mouth and closed it on several occasions trying to speak. I needed to find the right words but they weren't coming to me. I probably looked like a fish and on any other occasion Scott, Virgil and Gordon would be laughing at me.

I felt bad; I thought John had just been pretending to be hurt. I thought he had been jealous of the attention that I would be getting from my Dad for saving the day.

Okay, I had been wrong. So what? I mean it doesn't really matter anymore; he's going to be dead in a bit anyway. It's not like he knows so he can't be angry.

That was a horrible thing to think. I feel so mean, I am mean.

This hospital room is depressing; the walls are bare and painted an icy blue. The floor tiles are dark blue; they have marks on them and the light from the bulbs above reflect of off them.

I can see my reflection in them but I don't want to look, I'm supposed to be in here saying goodbye to one of my older Brothers.

I wish my Dad were here with me; it'd be so much easier. I probably wouldn't even have to speak, just watch.

After only God knows how long I manage to think of something suitable to say, it was simple and short. I had no idea why I hadn't thought of it before, stupid brain.

"Goodbye, John." There, that was it. Nothing more could be said but instead of feeling better like I thought I would have done I felt like a huge weight had been dropped onto my shoulders and I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.

I turned and started out of the room. I wanted a hug from my Dad; I wanted him to tell me everything was going to be all right. I wanted TinTin and Fermat here with me so they could help me. I needed my friends.

"Alan?" It was quiet and sounded almost like a groan but I heard it, it couldn't be John could it?

I spun around on my heel and almost ran back to the bed, I felt excited and full of hope. If John was talking then that had to mean he was getting better didn't it? He'd be all right so then I could maybe get to know him better.

That sounded like a good idea, getting to know John. We could start again; get to be really close to one another.

Where were all these thoughts coming from?

As I gazed at John's pale face I realized I must have imagined him talking he looked so out of it. I was so sure though; maybe I'm going crazy, if I wasn't already before. I had to just make sure though.

"John?" I asked and I took one of his cold hands in my own.

I didn't know what to do now, wait? No, Dad wanted his turn but a couple of minutes wouldn't hurt would they?

"John, if you can hear me open your eyes or squeeze my hand. Give me a sign, Bro." I almost whispered to him, I watched his face fixedly for the next couple of minutes. He didn't open his eyes.

I was just about to give up and leave when I felt John feebly squeeze my hand. I let out a shout that soon had my Brothers and my Dad running into the room.

"What is it?" My Dad asked, worry clear in his voice.

"He squeezed my hand!" I almost shouted, I was so happy.

I suppose it was hard not to be but no one else looked happy, instead they looked kind of doubtful. They didn't believe me; they probably thought I was imagining it.

"I'm telling the truth!" I told them, looking down at John's face, "Believe me, please. Don't give up hope."

I felt John squeeze my hand once again, it was as weak as before but it was there. I grinned and turned my head to look at them. Scott, Virgil and Gordon were stood close to one another and all of them still looked doubtful. I turned my gaze onto my Dad.

He shook his head and looked down at his feet, he looked old. So much older than he's ever looked before, like he had aged 10 years in the last couple of seconds.

"Alan." He started. "The Doctors said that he wasn't going to wake up, they said it was a miracle that he is still alive now. You're just imagining it, it's impossible."

What was he saying? He had given up, hadn't he? I felt so angry; I dropped John's hand onto the bed and spun around so my whole body was facing my Dad.

My body was shaking as hundreds of different emotions whirred around inside of me, my body shook slightly as I clenched my fists at my side.

"How can you say that?" I screamed at him. "He's going to be alright, he hasn't given up so why the hell should you? He squeezed my hand twice and said my name, how can I imagine that? Huh? Are you calling me a liar?"

"Alan…" My Dad said quietly, not wanting to fight back for the first time in my life. "It's impossible."

"It's not! It's not; see for yourself! Hold his hand, talk to him, for God's sake do something! He needs us to be there for him and how are we supposed to help him get better if you don't believe in him?" I don't know where any of this was coming from but it felt right and it sure as hell sounded good.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Virgil move to the bed and take one of John's hands in his own. Once I saw everyone had their attention on the two I then turned my own eyes to them.

We waited and waited. Virgil looked up at me with sadness in his eyes and shook his head. I could have kicked something but instead I tried to control myself.

"Talk to him." I said and I got a small nod in response.

He leaned his head down and whispered something I couldn't make out in John's ear, and then we waited.

It was nearly two minutes before Virgil turned to us with wide eyes and the biggest grin I've ever seen on his face.

"He squeezed my hand." Was all he said.


	8. Chapter Eight

A/N: This is the last chapter, thanks to everyone who has been reading this story. I hope I haven't screwed up! And sorry if it is crap.

**Virgil's P.O.V**

He had squeezed my hand; he was still here. What if he had been listening to everything everyone had been saying? What could he be thinking?

Probably that I'm crazy for laughing but he'd understand. John knows how my brain works, in any other circumstance he'd be laughing along with me, or at least grinning.

God, what if he had heard everything? What if he was doing this to try and prove to us that he was still here? What if he was trying to say his goodbyes?

I pushed these thoughts out of my head and gave John's hand a gentle squeeze, "I'm here, Johnny." I whispered in his ear. "Can you hear me? Squeeze once for no and twice for yes."

I don't know where that came from but I had to know if he was hearing me, I hope he could. I waited for a couple of minutes before my hand was squeezed twice; I nearly started squealing like a schoolgirl. Okay scratch that, I did start squealing much to the amusement of Gordon who laughed at me. I ignored him though.

"Was that a yes?" I asked, just wanting to make sure.

It was once again a couple of minutes before I felt the answer. No. That made me laugh and I got curious looks from the family.

I ignored them and instead focused my full attention on John.

"Smart arse." Was all I said and I'm sure I saw the corners of his lips quiver, as if he was trying to smile. "Are you going to try and stay with us?"

Again, he squeezed my hand twice and I felt a huge surge of hope rise up in my chest. I don't know if it was just me but I thought that his responses were getting stronger. Maybe, just maybe, he was waking up.

"Did you hear us saying our goodbyes?" I asked.

I got a positive response and I felt myself pale slightly, I turned and looked around at my family. Dad now had his arm wrapped protectively around Alan's shoulders, Dad didn't look as doubtful anymore and Alan had a grin on his face.

Gordon and Scott were leaning against the wall behind me, Scott had a proud look on his face and I understood what he was feeling because I was feeling it too. Even with all of us, with the exception of Alan, giving up on him he was still trying to hold on.

Gordon looked very pale and downcast, Scott noticed me looking at him and also turned his gaze to him. Scott pulled him into a hug and Gordon wrapped his arms around Scott's waist, he didn't look like he was going to let go in a hurry.

"Do you think you could open your eyes?" I queried.

My response took a lot longer than the others had, I watched John's face adjust slightly, and it was a no.

"That's ok, do you think you could do anything else? Move your arm or do something else with your hand?"

Again, he didn't answer straight away and when he did I hardly noticed he was doing anything. He was tapping his fingers lightly against my hand in an uneven rhythm; I nearly started to squeal again but I didn't give Gordon the pleasure.

"I want a turn." Gordon told me and I nodded reluctantly, I had noticed he had detached himself from Scott.

I moved so I was stood next to Scott and Gordon took my place. He sent me an uncertain look after taking a hold of John's hand.

"Talk to him." I said, saying the exact same thing Alan said to me.

I directed a smile at Alan and got one in return, it's hard to believe that he was the one to get John to respond to us. He was the only one to believe; I can't understand why we gave up hope. John's going to be fine now and he'll be coming home soon, we'll all help him recover and we'll start spending more time together as a family. Maybe I could persuade Dad to let Alan be home-schooled; I don't see why Scott, Gordon, John and myself couldn't teach him all the things we know.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier." Gordon was saying to John. "You do know that right?"

That made me wonder what Gordon had said but then again, maybe I didn't want to know. Gordon apparently got the response he wanted and he started to grin, he turned to me and gave me a wink.

"Did you hear Virgil squealing, Johnny? Reminds me of the time we put that spider in his bed, you remember?" He asked.

John had helped with that? I thought it had been Alan and Gordon, I suppose I better apologise to Alan about that later and think of a suitable revenge for when John gets out of hospital. Pink hair dye comes to mind, a mischievous smile sprung onto my face.

Scott saw it and grinned too, "Have your revenge sorted out then?" he asked.

I nodded and Gordon sent me a slightly nervous look, he leant closer to John and whispered something unintelligible into his ear. He was probably telling him that they needed to get a prank sorted out when John was better. I'd have to watch my back from now on.

The door to the room swung open and a Doctor entered, she looked tired. Dad quickly let shook her hand as she offered it to him before putting it once again around Alan's shoulders.

"I'm Dr Parker, I'm the person in charge of your college's welfare." She introduced herself to us before sending the rest of us quizzical looks. "I take it you are the other members of international Rescue?"

"They are." Dad answered for me, a hint of a smile on Dad's face. "I think John is waking up."

"That can't be right." She said, brushing some of her salt and pepper hair out of her eyes. She moved to the bed, taking the clipboard out of the tray at the end and scanned it while looking at the machines that were telling us John was still with us.

She looked at my Dad with sadness in her eyes, "I'm sorry, but he isn't going to make it. There is no way that he's going to last the night, that's why I came to talk to you."

"He's squeezing my hand right now, how can you say he's going to die? He's not going to give up!" Gordon almost shouted at the Doctor.

I wanted to join in with the shouting but I could feel all hope I had in my heart fading away, it had been pointless. She had to be right, why wouldn't she be? She's has loads of medical knowledge, more than my family put together, and knows when a situation is hopeless. I just can't understand it though.

"We've done everything we could have." She told us, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I can explain why this is happening, if I could have moment of your time."

Dad nodded, "Lets go outside. I think that this is something we all should hear."

"I'll stay with John, if that's ok." Gordon said and Dad nodded.

We all started to file out of the room, Dr Parker in the lead and Scott bringing up the rear. She led us to a private waiting room and told us all to take seats. We all did as we were told; my body was functioning without my mind giving it orders.

Dr Parker then explained everything and I didn't listen to a word of it. Instead, I let the words wash over me and blur together so they didn't make any sense.

I looked at the faces of my Dad and Brothers and I could tell that the words weren't sinking in with them either. I know I've mentioned this before but I'm going to do it again; this is all too unreal. Today had started out like any other and now everything had changed.

Dr Parker asked Dad if John's heart stopped beating should they try and revive him? She explained that the only way to keep him alive would be by the use of machines after that point, I knew in my heart that John wouldn't want that but own selfish desires screamed inside my head that Dad would say yes.

In the end, though, he made the right decision. Probably one of the hardest decisions in his entire life, I didn't envy him.

**Gordon's P.O.V**

I watched them exit the room, I felt empty. I planted a fake smile on my face though for John's sake, even if he couldn't see it. I rubbed my thumb against his in a comforting manner.

"What does she know, anyway? You'll probably end up outliving us all." I let out a short laugh though I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Do you know how unfair all of this is, John?" I asked, my voice wavered slightly and I didn't know if I could trust myself to speak.

I felt him squeeze my hand twice and that made me laugh slightly but my laughter soon turned into sobs that wracked my whole body. I couldn't stop my body from shaking, or stop it from once again lying on the bed with John.

I was in control though when I wrapped my arms around his body, I moved him so I had his head cradled against my chest and I was in control when I brushed the blonde locks out of his face.

I honestly didn't know what to say or how to act. If I should pretend that none of this is happening or tell John all the things I had ever wanted to say to him. For some reason I chose the former, optimism could be good right now.

"When you get out of here John we have to prank Virgil and possibly Scott too. I have some ideas but I'm going to need your help. You see, I need your brains in this operation plus, you come up with the best ideas." I told him.

"I know." The voice was soft and rough. It was unmistakably John.

How could he be talking? He couldn't open his eyes earlier, I didn't know how it was possible but I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"I bet half of your pranks wouldn't have succeeded if it weren't for me." John whispered, a slight smile crossing his lips and his blue eyes staring tiredly at my face.

"That's not true." I said but I knew it was.

John didn't say anything for a while and I didn't try to make conversation, although I hated the silence I didn't know of any other alternative.

"I'm scared." It was quiet and I almost missed it.

I moved my gaze from the wall behind John to John's face. Behind the tiredness that clouded John's eyes I could see the pain and the fear. I've never seen them emotions so clearly displayed in his eyes, it was shocking for me to witness is.

"Me too." I admitted and truly I was.

I was scared for John and for our family. I don't know how we're all going to cope, how we're going to keep International Rescue going after John's gone. That's if we keep it going.

"What are we going to do without you, Johnny?" I asked him and he didn't reply.

His eyes were beginning to slip shut and I could feel myself starting to panic, he couldn't be going now. I grabbed his shoulders and I shook him, his head lolled forwards and backwards slightly.

"Don't." He moaned and I did as I was told.

I pulled him closer to me again and I stroked his hair with one of my hands. We didn't say anything, I wanted to though but I thought better of it. I decided on just waiting for John to say something. Either that or everyone else coming back, I glanced towards the door but it remained closed.

John's breaths were becoming hard for him, I could tell. I knew he was getting close to the end, too close too soon.

"Tell every-everyone I love them, Gordy." He chocked out and I nodded immediately.

"We all love you too, John." I said to him. "Don't forget."

"I won't." H smiled briefly before his face contorted in pain and he gasped. I wanted to do something to stop his pain but there was nothing I could do. "T-tell Alan to lo-look after my 'bird."

I smiled and held one of his hands in my own; I gave it a slight squeeze and received one in return.

"I'm tired." He mumbled, closing his eyes.

There was nothing I could do to prevent this from happening. I was terrified but I somehow remained calm, I knew I needed to be.

"Go to sleep, John. Go see Mom." I told him and he nodded his head slightly.

Then he was gone. I didn't need the machines next to his bed telling me, I just knew. I let out a huge sob and crushed John's body to mine. I blocked everything out that was going on around me, I didn't notice my Dad, Brothers and Dr Parker renter the room and I didn't see there tears.

I was aware though when someone pried me off of John and pulled me out of the bed before holding me to their chest. It was Alan, I could just tell. I sobbed into his shirt for what seemed like an age before I looked up into his face. I saw his tears and I wiped them away quickly.

"He said you have to look after his 'bird." I told him as I had said I would.

Alan's eyes widened before he managed to nod his head.

"Lets go." I said and he nodded.

On the way home in Thunderbird 1 no one spoke which wasn't surprising. All our thoughts were centred on the Brother we had lost. I think Dad was trying his hardest no to think of him; instead he busied himself with the flying of Thunderbird 1. He opened a communications link up with home, Brain's face soon appeared on the screen.

"Mr Tracy?" Brains almost squeaked out.

"We'll be home soon, Brains. Gather everyone into the living room please, we need to have a talk." My Dad told Brains and he nodded while pushing his glasses back up his nose.

"I-I-I-I'm, right away, Mr Tracy." Brains said, concern was clearly visible on his face. "Is J-J-J-John with you?"

Dad shook his head, "ETA 8 minutes."

He then closed the link and leaned back into his chair before sighing. He hadn't cried, not yet anyway. I didn't doubt that he would at the first chance he had once he was alone. He tried not to cry in front of us.

John has touched so many people, even if they never saw him face to face. He was the voice of International Rescue, the one who calmed you down and let you know help was on it's way. He was someone who cared.

Now his story has come to an end too early, though his effect on us will always remain.


End file.
